I’m like George Bailey in “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The only difference is I don’t need to put my life in jeopardy, so that my guardian angel has to come to my rescue and take me back in time to show me what life would have been like if I had never been born! I already know a lot of people would have a lot fewer grey hairs- ha ha ha! I’m glad I was born, and I can honestly say, “It’s a wonderful life!”
I have learned to live with my CP (cerebral palsy) and I have to tell you that my life, even with CP, has been amazing! In my particular case, CP doesn’t give me daily, ongoing pain. I would like to take a moment to say to those people who do live with daily pain, I AM SO SORRY AND YOU ARE TO BE COMMENDED FOR YOUR BRAVERY AND COURAGE!!!!
OCD, on the other hand, I would not wish on my worst enemy! It can be a really debilitating disability!!!! It can cause me to do and say things that create wedges between me and my family members! When my OCD is at its worst, I don’t want to talk on the phone with friends or go out in public. I’m afraid I’ll do or say something to make people leave or reject me! Even if I do go out, I’m not able to enjoy it. I just sit there and say nothing, imprisoned by my OCD. I know OCD is not classified as a disability, but it often feels like it has been harder than my physical handicap. I feel that, in some ways, it has limited me more than my CP. Fear plays a big part in OCD and that fear has kept me from doing things I otherwise would have enjoyed. One example being family vacations to our cabin in Maine…I was very fearful in that setting and problems related to my OCD were a bigger factor, originally, in our discontinuing our vacations there. During the deepest, darkest battles with OCD, the wonder in my ‘wonder’ful life was just that…wonder! I wondered why God had given me OCD on top of CP. Wasn’t CP enough? I wondered why God seemed so far away when I needed him the most. I questioned if he even still loved me. I wondered if I would ever get through.
I did! Thanks to more wonder…a wonderful God, a wonderful family, wonderful friends, wonderful doctors. I don’t have answers to all of my questions, but some day I will…won’t that be wonderful!
I have to be honest; I do have days when I feel sorry for myself! It is hard to see people doing things that I can’t do! As I have mentioned in other posts, there are sports I would love to be able to participate in, like tennis and gymnastics. And even simple things like a cartwheel or handstand. There is a certain degree of independence I would really like to experience, for instance, taking my family and friends for a spin in my own sporty little car. I would like to be able to select the car based on its looks, rather than how much space it has for my scooter. It’s hard for me to be around little kids- oh, don’t take me wrong- I love them- but they don’t understand CP. The way I talk and move often frightens them! It is moments like this when I wish that I could be “normal.” More often than not, if I give a kid some time and space (and maybe a cookie) they eventually warm up to me. At times, this has also been a challenge for me with adults as well. They are not sure how to take me at first. Sometimes they feel like they have to “dumb it down” or talk simply to me. Once I get a conversation going, they usually come around. I feel I have been fortunate to live in a time and place where people with physical disabilities are much more accepted and welcomed.
All that being said, there are some things I can do that people with able bodies can’t! When I was younger, I used to go to King’s Island, and I got to go to the front of the lines for rides! How many of you wish you could go to your favorite store to browse around for a while and have a scooter with a nice, comfortable seat? Well, I do! Every place I go to is a drive-in! My scooter lets me come and go when and where I want to!
There are a couple of challenges I have encountered along my journey!
- On a scooter, you’re not protected from the weather…(opposite a car) the heat works well in the summer and the AC works more than adequately in the winter!
- I have to plan my routes keeping sidewalk conditions in mind! Some sidewalks that go over people’s driveways slope down into the road, totally dangerous and quite scary!
- Are the places I want to go even accessible?
- Will I be with people who can help me with my personal needs?
- Will there be Starbucks in and around the area? Ha ha ha
May I please ask a favor of all of you? When you’re stopped at a red light, please don’t stop right in front of the curb cut!!!! You all in cars have road rage! I, on my scooter, have sidewalk rage! Ha ha ha
My physical condition has slowly deteriorated so that I can’t walk at all anymore! My right leg is so bent now, that I can’t lift my left leg to walk. I am fortunate to live with sisters who help me out and I’ll be the first to admit it’s like taking care of an adult baby. They bathe me, dress me, and get all my meals for me! They do all of it so nicely and sweetly! I don’t walk anymore, and I have to be 100% honest with you- I don’t really miss it! I know I should but, it had gotten so hard and made me get so out of breath! My CP not only puts limits on me but also my family! There are things that they would like to go and do but they choose not to, in order to stay with me and not make me feel left out.
My life today is wonderful! My OCD is controlled with new, updated medications! Last night I started the fall season of Buddy Ball! I live with three of my best friends who also happen to be my sisters and we have a wonderful life together. We’re always joking and laughing together! Yes, the great job I had was terminated due to COVID but, God, worked through my brother and gave him the idea and the inspiration for me to write this blog! I love doing this blog!
Do not feel sorry for me for one second! Even with CP and OCD, I consider myself one of the richest people in the entire world! I have a totally awesome God who kept a promise He made to me to give me a hope and a future! In my opinion, I have the most awesome family in the entire world! I have THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, who love me and will actually do things with me! I write this blog, giving me meaning and productivity!
I invite you to look around, you can always find people worse off than yourself! I know it can be difficult to see the wonderful in life sometimes! Sometimes we can only see it when we get through the difficulty and look back. I encourage you to look for the little blessings that come to all of us every day. The ones that are easy to overlook or miss. I think we will then be able to say, as George Bailey did, that we are some of the richest people in town!
Comments
21 responses to “It’s A Wonderful Life”
Cate, Reading your last entry gives more insight into what it is like having CP. In the past when I knew you, you were young, always searching for a laugh, wanting to talk to us far flung relatives, ready to see new people, open to new people, and interested in other people. This impression that I had of you seems ever present in your blogs of today.
Must be so much easier for you now that medicines have been developed to help with OCD.
Life has its twists and turns and your appreciation of life shines through. I am happy for you for your warm family and your cozy, adorable home.
xoxo
Aunt Mandy
As I sit here and read your blog, it brings a smile to my face. A smile because you are a blessing and it’s a joy to have you as a friend. You truly are a WONDERful example of living “the life” that God has given you! We love you, Cate❣️
Thanks ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I noticed you never tell what the acronym OCD stands for. So I decided to make it stand for something else after reading your blog…how about Oh, Cate Delights!
Or how about Onward Cate, Determined? I know…Okay Cate, Don’t. That’s a message you can tell yourself when the OCD is trying to get you to believe a lie!
Jesus has faith in you my friend to overcome, I do too. Hey! There’s another one: Overcoming Cate’s Doubts. I’m on a roll.
Thanks for the free inspiration in these blogs, I’m sure Jesus will pay you in full for all of us someday.
Try to behave yourself 🙂
Love ya!
Thanks I am truly blessed to have you as one my pastors!!!! I know we joke around a lot but I want you to know that you minister to me weekly by your encouraging responses!!!! God truly anointed you to be a pastor and you are a totally amazing and excellent one!!!! I’ll be happy to let the whole world know that I know and love you!!!!
Love reading your blog! What a beautiful way to give folks a window into your heart and daily life. I can only imagine you, one day, doing cartwheels and handstands! What a glorious day that will be! 🙂 Until then, thank you for the hope-filled reminder that we are not alone and the blessings of family and friends to help carry us when we are struggling and to delight in the joys of life!
Thanks Emmalyn for your encouraging and sweet comments! You are a totally fantastic friend!!!!
Cate you are such a blessing and I love reading your blogs. I am in aw of all the accomplishments you have been able to do. You are brave kind beautiful and amazing!! I love you just the way you are!!
As always you know just what to say!!!! Thanks for your encouraging and supportive comments!!!! I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE TOO!!!!
Dear Dear Friend ,
This blog was brutally honest. I’m so proud of you and how far you have come. I’m so glad God put you in my life . We have so many adventures and testing of our friendship. The one thing I know God has shown us how to truly love each other thru the good and bad. I love you dearly my friend .
Thanks so much for this very encouraging and sweet paragraph!!!! I’m SO GLAD GOD GAVE ME A JEWEL NAMED,CHARLENE!!!! I never thought I would have a friend like you!!!! Good friends make a person rich! You ,my dear, have made me a millionaire!!!! I LOVE YOU SO VERY, VERY, MUCH!!!!
Hi Cate, it was great to see you at the parade today. I was thinking about you as we drove to Grove city and then surprise, there you were. I am looking forward to reading your blog and getting to know you even better than I already do.
It was fantastic to see you yesterday!!!! It made my day!!!! Thanks for reading and already subscribing to my blog! Thanks for your encouraging comments yesterday and on my blog!!!!
I know you have helped me have a “wonderful” life and learn to count my many blessings. You are one of those blessings, my friend!!
You will never know what you mean to me!!!! I LOVE AND PRAISE GOD FOR YOU!!!!
One of the valuable lessons that you are teaching your readers is this: what we bring to an experience can shape what we take from an experience. I once heard this wise principle phrased in a particularly pithy fashion, “Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.”
Thanks!!!!
Cate, It was so good to see you out just east of Walmart on the sidewalk with your drink in the holder on your scooter. You can be guaranteed I will always yell;
“Hi Cate”! You truly brighten our day with your smile.
Thanks for being such a fabulous friend!!!!
Cate, you have the best attitude and outlook. This blog should be a lesson to us all to be grateful for everything in life, be it good or bad. I look forward to your blog every Saturday, and I love you!
Thanks ❤️❤️❤️❤️